Phantom Nirvana: A Dungeons & Dragons Podcast

S2 Ep11 - Treasure Hunters

• Phantom Nirvana • Season 2 • Episode 11

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In our last episode the Adventurers journeyed into the cavern beneath the sanguine pool and encountered the leader of the Tabaxi treasure hunters within an underground pyramid. They agreed to assist the Tabaxi by finding a triangular jewel within the pyramid in exchange for the key the stronghold of Kalamesh. The adventurers must now solve riddles to open 3 locked doors within the pyramid. This is season 2 Episode 11: Treasure hunters.

Music in this episode is by Sun Umbra and Sagey. 

Warning: Contains dark themes that may not be suitable for all audiences. Instagram @phantomnirvana
Email phantomnirvana@gmail.com

SPEAKER_00:

Close your eyes and open your mind. This is Phantom Nirvana, a Dungeons& Dragons podcast. Be advised, this story contains dark themes that may not be suitable for some audiences. And now we present Phantom Nirvana.

UNKNOWN:

Phantom Nirvana

SPEAKER_00:

In our last episode, the adventurers journeyed into the cavern beneath the

SPEAKER_01:

Sanguine Pool and encountered the leader of the Tabaxi treasure hunters within an underground pyramid. They agreed to assist the Tabaxi by finding a triangular jewel within the pyramid in exchange for the

SPEAKER_00:

key to the stronghold of Kalamash. The adventurers must now solve riddles to open three locked doors within the pyramid. This is Season 2, Episode 11, Treasure Hunters.

SPEAKER_01:

So this one on the left here, from what I'm getting, it says, I am not alive, but I grow. I don't have lungs, but I need air. I don't have a mouth, but water kills me. Fire? As soon as you say fire everyone except Josh is frozen in place. It is as if you're just suspended in time. You can't move a muscle on your square. And very, very slowly, Josh, as you stand there in this eerie silence looking around at your friends who are now frozen, a very small river of black shimmering liquid seeps from the ceiling, trailing down the wall and around the arch of the door beneath the riddle that was solved. Now, who was on the square? it together me and Josh oh so you're you are not frozen either neither of you is oh okay so And the viscous liquid seeps to the floor. It begins to flow slowly in the groove on the floor, curling an angular path toward one of the six sections, your section, Josh. And it begins to move itself along one side of the square that you are standing in. And the large arched brass door beneath the solved riddle gives a little loud metallic crunch and rolls open with a slow grinding screech. Stepping out of the darkness armed with a gigantic axe, standing tall with green skin and leathery wings is this demonic looking creature with huge horns on top of its head, spikes on its shoulders, big raptor type teeth. comes stomping out, giving a roar. And you both are now in combat with this creature. It bangs the axe against its head like, boom, kong, kong, like that. And you can see the blood sort of drips down its face. And I would like for you both to roll initiative. That's a ten. That's a five. Josh turns to Axel. What have we done? Begin, Joshua Ames. Wow. I have the first? You do. No, you don't. I lied. It's Axel. Psyched. Psyched. I got you. Sorry. You get the first, Axel. Definitely not Josh, who's the last. Okay. I'm gonna cast Thunderwave in the direction of the... The Nightclaw. The Nygaloth. Okay, now y'all know how Thunder Wave works with me. Yeah, I was going to say, it's not directional. I don't do Thunder Wave like everybody else does. It hits everybody around him. Originating from me. Correct. In a cube. So both Josh Ames and I will make a constitution save. What's your DC? 16. Okay, I rolled a 19, so I definitely pass. It just stomps right past it. Not good, bro. I roll 11. Okay, roll damage. And because you pass, you take half damage. Oh, I take half damage? Okay. So 11. Okay, Josh, you take 11 and I take five. Ow, dude. Watch where you wave your thunder. He's also pushed away from me. He's pushed away from me. Okay, Josh is

SPEAKER_00:

pushed away

SPEAKER_01:

from you. Okay, I like it. Maybe he like bashes into one of the others who is frozen and they sort of clonk down to the ground or something like that. I think Josh gets pushed right towards the knuckle off. Fist ready.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Whoa, I wasn't ready for this. Here we go. It is the Nykoloth's turn, so he's going to take... First, he's going to cast Darkness, and he's going to cast it in the area where the two of you are. It says that Magical Darkness spreads from a point you choose within range to fill a 15-foot radius sphere for the duration, which is concentration up to 10 minutes. The darkness spreads around corners. A creature with dark vision can't see through it, and non-magical light can't illuminate it. So I'm choosing the space between the two of you so it encompasses both of you. And then I'm going to step forward and take a wild swing at one of you two. I'm going to give myself disadvantage because you're shrouded in darkness. With my greataxe, I rolled an 11 on Josh, which is not enough. But you feel the wind whip past your body. Let's have Joshua Ames go ahead and take his turn now. Yeah, I feel that wind and I try to hone in on the direction that a strike might have originated from and I thrust out with my spear kind of right at the source of that. Make an attack with disadvantage. That's 17 to hit. 17 does not hit, unfortunately. Son of a gun. Well, I'm going to... Pull my spear back and try again. Okay. With my second attack. Go ahead. Nope, that's an eight. So I'm gonna flurry of blows and do two more strikes with my feet, just sort of like floating them out into the air, you know, into spaces that I did not thrust my spear, hoping that one of these will be... That is a nine to hit. and finally a 12 to hit nothing a whole lot of nothing you fail sir josh is feeling like the frustration of this moment and his failure just like just really hurting his feelings he's gonna just run in any direction. And with Flurry of Blows, he gets a free disengage. Oh, okay. In general, are you moving away from the Nygaloth? So you're able to dash maybe backwards out of the darkness. So at the end of that round, the black liquid has seeped around your squares. The two of you square and then down and around Mal's square. As soon as it hits Mal, and creates a full circle around your square, you are now able to move. You are reanimated, and you can roll initiative for me. Gladly, also, can you translate tennis court into feet, which is the measurement we use in Dungeons& Dragons? Yes, I suppose. How big is a tennis court?

SPEAKER_00:

Natural 20.

SPEAKER_01:

You can move one-fourth of the tennis court size.

SPEAKER_00:

Wasted on my initiative.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, right. 78 feet in length and by 36 feet wide. Okay, thank you. So there's a 15-foot sphere of darkness around what was Axel and Josh's square. Exactly right, yes. And right now Axel and the Beast are inside of that, but Josh has come careening out of it. Basically, yeah. Okay. I guess we did a full round, so it's top of the order. It's me, yeah? Well, I need you to give me initiative. I rolled 20. Oh, yeah, then it's definitely you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

I am going to cast Fairy Fire, encompassing the 15-foot sphere of darkness. So every object inside of that is outlined in violet light.

UNKNOWN:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

And it is magical light, so it penetrates the darkness. Okay, I like that. Yeah. Any creature in the area has to roll a

SPEAKER_00:

dexterity saving throw.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, can do. So, yeah, I like this idea. A

SPEAKER_00:

dex save from Axel and the beast. You rolled a three?

SPEAKER_01:

I rolled a three for the Nykoloth, so it is lit up like a giant... Christmas tree. Purple-y.

SPEAKER_00:

Purple light. Purple light,

SPEAKER_01:

okay. Axel, make a dex save, bud. Is there any way to intentionally fail this? Because I kind of want to be outlined. I kind of want people to know where I am. No. Okay. 17. No, this

SPEAKER_00:

is good, Axel. If you stay in the dark, then the thing can't see

SPEAKER_01:

you. Any attack roll against the

SPEAKER_00:

beast has advantage as

SPEAKER_01:

long as the attacker can see it. And now that it's lit up, we can all see it. I think Mal is probably seeing the form of this thing for the first time within the blackness. And it's like, whoa, this thing's big. It's like you were frozen as soon as it started to come out, right? Oh, yeah. And if I've unfrozen, that means I have my movement. Yeah, go on. Which direction is away? Yeah, you can go up to your movement away from it. Cool. I think the long way. 30 feet,

SPEAKER_00:

that's roughly half a tennis court.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, we're doing tennis courts as a unit of measurement that we're using for this specific encounter. We're going to keep going with that. So the... And I'm going to go find myself near Glenn, I think, actually. Oh, Glenn. Glenn, Glenn, Glenn. Axel, your turn. So I'm still in the darkness. You are, sir. But in the darkness, can I see that outline that she described earlier? I think you can definitely see it. That's about all you can see, probably. All right. I'm going to use my handy dandy sling. You get advantage on this attack roll. Nice. 19. The 19 hits. Nice. Six damage. Okay. Then I think I would like to flee as well out of the darkness. You step out of it. You see Mal. You see Josh. Both sort of ready stance. Almost like they're playing tennis. It is the Nykaloth's turn. He's going to dash out of the darkness. So he dashes over to Josh. And he's going to make an attack with his greataxe. 25 is going to hit. Yes. That is going to hit, yeah. Oh, sweet, sweet child. It is going to be 15 slashing damage. What a dick. 15 slashing damage from the greataxe as it just goes right into your flesh and you yowl in pain. I mean, I don't think there's any way around it. That's a big axe. Pretty bad. And then he's going to teleport. He will reappear glowing on the other side of the darkness.

SPEAKER_00:

Did he take damage when Axel hit him?

SPEAKER_01:

So the darkness would be gone, wouldn't it? Or he would have to roll to see if he could keep his concentration. I think we'll just dispel it. Great. So that gone. Josh, it's your turn. Josh has a 40 movement speed, so he's gonna just run up and 300 style just like try to drive that spear right into its fucking dumb neck. Okay. Make your attack roll. Is it still, do I still get advantage? Yes, you get advantage on attacks as long as he's glowing. Okay. How long do I go? Until I lose concentration or until a minute goes by. Oh, okay. So that is not so good. That's like nothing. So you missed. You were standing right next to him. My first attack misses, but my second attack is going to be so much better Okay. It is, in fact, much better. That is a 20 to hit. A 20 hits. And I'm going to use Stunning Strike as well. Oh. So I will roll for damage, but Homeboy has to make a DC 13 Constitution saving throw. No problem. Oh, shoot. I rolled a five.

UNKNOWN:

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

SPEAKER_01:

That is seven piercing damage.

UNKNOWN:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

It's the fact that Josh didn't go for the crotch character development. I think so. I think so. I don't like that. I don't like it. Josh is becoming a man. I like the crotch action he had in season one. Is that your turn, Michael? That is my turn. Okay, Josh is done. Okay, with that, the creepy black ooze seeps around the square occupied by Glenn. And she... Springs to life. Armed with a broadsword. And immediately charges toward the Nykaloth. Swings it. She rolls a 19. And deals. 3 plus 3 is 6. 6 damage. She hacks again with her greatsword and rolls another 19. Pretty damn good. 12 and 3 is 15. She says, Blast this creature! Mallory for round three. Eldritch Blast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get after it. Whoa. Whoa, y'all. How about a 24 to hit? 24 hits. Boom. Oh, spicy. 13 damage. Oh, second beam is 21 to hit. That hits. Six damage. Very good. The two beams of energy fire from the amethyst in your hand, illuminating the creature. Does it burn when it hits him? What's it like? Yeah, like sizzles and crackles. It's sizzling. It's a sizzling effect. Yeah. I like that. He's already glowing, so now he's glowing and crackling. Are you moving as far from this creature as possible? Per usual? Yes. I am staying. I'm just going to slip around. The full tennis court distance away. As much tennis court as we can. I've got about a two tennis court range on Eldridge Blouse. Okay. Okay. Okay. Great. So you're good. You're good. Excel, Excel spreadsheet, your turn. So Josh is still close to the beast, right? He right up on it. Yeah, that's unfortunate. All right, I'm going to try and hit it with the sling again. 19 to hit. 19 hits. Okay. That's a seven damage. Seven damage. Okay. The little pebble piffs off of him. Is he going to move? Yes. Okay. Where would you like to move, sir? The same direction that Mal is moving. Okay. You're hanging with Mal. Okay. All right. The Nykaloth is stunned and starved. So he's going to stand there Like in Mortal Kombat, when they say finish him, he's kind of like that move right there. Yeah. Nice. And we're going to go to Joshua Ames, who's Josh. Josh. Yeah. Feeling cocky because of this stunned opponent. Josh is going to. drop into a crisscross applesauce and jab twice with the spear into his nuts. Yes! He's back, baby! That's the Josh we know and love. There he is. Jiminy Christmas. There he is. The first one is a 23 to hit. God, he's good. A kid don't miss. He is good. And that is 8. Gronal piercing damage. And the second attack is 22 to hit. and that is eight more groinal piercing damage. Goodness gracious. Groinal damage. I love that the term groinal is probably something that we've coined here. Thankfully, this loincloth prevents my DM from having to describe the damage done. If I ever got off my ass, I think putting groinal on a t-shirt would be groinal damage would be pretty good. Let me throw columnal in there too. Columnal basalt. Columnal basalt greenage. You know what? Josh is going to back away five feet. How long am I stunned? I don't like this. Until the end of this turn. So now I'm ending my turn. Okay, now I'm not stunned anymore. You're unstunned. All right, thank you. You're welcome. It was Glenn, Mal, Axel, Josh, Axel, Nikaleth, Josh. Yeah, okay, we're good. All right, yeah, the black goo moves. It encircles Marcus Burkhead. No, I don't want to do anything. You are now animated and able to move. Roll initiative, sir. 19. Wow, pretty damn good. Glenn is going to charge forward with the great axe. Nine and five is... 14, which is not enough in second attack. Another nine and five is 14. Wow. Weird. Okay. So Glenn whiffs twice with the great sword. Let's have Mal go next. Guess what? Two more Eldritch Blasts. Okay. Fire away. 23 to hit. 23 hits. For my first beam. 14

SPEAKER_00:

damage.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, buddy. 22

SPEAKER_00:

to hit and five damage.

UNKNOWN:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Marcus, Spurkhead, you are animated. You are taking your first turn. Marcus is going to cast Sleep. Wow. He's got a hair trigger on Sleep this season. It worked last season. It did. It's the only thing that worked. Everything else pretty much failed. Roll 5d8, but at higher levels. Roll an additional 2d8. 2d8 for each slot of the first, so... 6d8 on top of 5d8. 11d8. That sounds like a Hobbit thing. All right, let me roll this D&D Beyond dice. 63. He drops like a rock. Yeah! He drops like a rock. And there's like that spit bubble coming out of his nose. Like the anime. And after another, you know, 15 seconds or so, the goo has spun around both Sam and Rihanna's squares, and you are animated as well, and you are no longer in combat. And this huge night Kaloth is lying on the ground, splayed asleep, and the door is open. Shall we?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Weren't there three doors?

SPEAKER_01:

There were three, and one of them is now open.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, so we couldn't see the other two.

SPEAKER_01:

You could see the other two. You chose to read and solve the riddle above one of them. So that is the one that is open. Can any of us read the other riddles? We've been in the room for a minute. You can read the other riddles. Are they in the same language? They are all in the same language. But it would be Mike who would need to read them.

SPEAKER_00:

How about this time, Josh, you say the answer in your mind before you say it out loud. You could say the riddle out loud to us, please, but

SPEAKER_01:

let's all keep the answer inside in case more beasties are hiding behind the doors. Also, is everyone unfrozen now? Yeah, everybody's unfrozen. Should we deal with this sleeping thing before... Can we see inside the one?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I think if we look inside the one and see through all three doors... Let's see

SPEAKER_01:

what we've got here now.

SPEAKER_00:

Lead into the next...

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. While we're doing some exploration, Josh is going to bind the sleeping Nykaloth. Try and like... Really? Do we have some rope or

SPEAKER_00:

something? No? While Josh is doing that, Mal is going to walk up to it with her lady dagger and slit its throat. Attack it when we come back.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it'll wake up.

SPEAKER_00:

It'll wake up.

SPEAKER_01:

So you've killed it now. It's dead.

SPEAKER_00:

We can do a killing

SPEAKER_01:

blow while it's knocked out. You have this massive great axe that it was carrying, if anybody wants to attempt to lift that. Yeah, it's a great axe. It's just your standard great axe. Can Glenn carry it? Glenn could carry it. Glenn, go up to it and give it a try. Oh, it feels good in my hands. And she gives it a couple swings through the air. Yeah, I like

SPEAKER_00:

this. Do we want to pillage any of the weapons in this room before anything else happens?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think there's two or three pickaxes or swords or things. I mean, it's not a huge... A lot of them. I think there's a few weapons. Josh will grab a pickaxe. A pickaxe? Okay, I like that.

SPEAKER_00:

I think Rihanna will also grab a pickaxe.

SPEAKER_01:

Have we formally looked into that door yet? Let's look. There's like a large holding pen area. And then behind that, there's a smaller passageway that leads to what looks like a well, well lit room. It's sort of glowing with golden light.

SPEAKER_00:

Hey, Josh, what are those other two riddles say?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, let me just give an educated glance up at door number two. Okay, so door number two says, I am the beginning of the end and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation and I surround every place. What am I? And Josh is awesome. I made that last part up. This one here says Josh is very attractive. I don't know. Somebody wrote that. Less of a riddle and more a statement of fact. Door number three says, I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest man cannot hold me for long. What am I? All right, what would y'all like to do? It sounded like Marcus was striding through the doorway.

SPEAKER_00:

Let him go.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, sir. As you step into the holding room, what was the holding room? You can see that there was like a straw bed for this creature, and there were some chains that were broken. I had a bed. Yeah, you know, he's going to be in there a while. A little bowl with some treats. What do they eat when they're like stuck there for eternity, just waiting angrily for something to come and open their door? What? What do they even do in there? This always occurs in these things. Like, aha, I've been waiting 75 years for somebody to open this damn ziggurat. I'm angry about it. Damn it, I was ready. Working on a Sudoku for... Okay, so then there's a smaller passageway, which this thing wouldn't have been able to get to. Again, that glowing light at the end of the... that passageway. You gonna go through it? Yep. All right. As you step through the passageway and into the room, your eyes widen in amazement at the sight before you. The walls are lined with shelves displaying an array of artifacts, weapons, and treasures from centuries past. The room is dimly lit with flickering torches casting a warm glow over the treasures. Gold coins and jewels stacked and piled up shoulder high in places. Your attention, Marcus, is immediately drawn to the center of the room where a triangular purple jewel sits atop a golden pedestal. It gleams in the flickering light, the facets reflecting colors you've never seen before. Around the jewel are ancient swords, shields, and helmets, each one more ornate and intricate than the last. There are suits of armor that look like they could have been worn by knights in medieval times, and intricately crafted daggers and bows that must have been used for hunting or battle, piles of fine weapons and armor. As you move around the room, and are you all in the room with him? Oh, yeah. Are you moving around the room, Kevin, or no? Mal is saying she's not. Somebody please do a check of some kind, please, before you touch anything. Oh, for like traps? Yeah, I'm walking up to the jewel, but not... Okay. You feel its power, its mystery, and its allure drawing you in. As you move closer, you feel its energy pulsing around you, and you can't help but wonder what secret it holds. I'd like you to make a perception check. Marcus Burkhead?

UNKNOWN:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Can any of us assist since we're there with him?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you can take advantage with that. I think everybody's kind of there. Can I ask real quick out of character? I know the symbol for our podcast is like the triangle thing. Was that in season one? It was.

SPEAKER_00:

It was on the t-shirt that Lucas wore.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, the black triangle. Glossy black triangle. What am I rolling? Perception? Yep. 16 plus 4, 20. Okay.

UNKNOWN:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

As you're inspecting it, you notice that laying on a pile of jewels next to the pedestal is another large triangular purple jewel. It is somewhat less fine than the one on the golden pedestal. And then, Mal, you find another one. About the same size and shape, but more burnished and of a deeper shade of purple. There are at least a dozen of these triangular purple jewels, none as beautiful and luminescent as the first one on the pedestal. Can I cast Detect Magic? Yeah, you find this wild-looking set of armor glowing. Beautiful suit of chain mail, fine chain mail. It's glowing magically. Does my detect magic show me anything about all of these triangular shapes? Is any one of them different than the others? The main one is definitely glowing with magical energy. It is the only one of the 12 that is glowing magically.

SPEAKER_00:

Rehana turns to everybody, looking Glenn up and down, turns to the group and says, let's check for booby traps and armor up. I don't think Akyama Nell is going to keep his word. And I want to prepare for battle. And when I take back Kalamesh, my people need armor. You all are great, great warriors, and I need you armored up as well. Let's quickly take inventory of what we have around us. Gather what we can and prepare to fight these tabaxi. I suspect foul play is afoot.

SPEAKER_01:

And with that, you hear rushing feet and Yarnell with eight tabaxi comes into the main chamber, the one that was shaped like a tennis court. They are not able to see you where you are in the treasure room.

SPEAKER_00:

I was hoping to get armored up before then. Yeah, everybody stuff a purple triangle in your pocket. Ooh. And Rihanna's going to go for the main purple one.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

The biggest one and hide

SPEAKER_01:

it. You said these are large. What is their actual size? Pocket stuffable. Okay. I was imagining like two foot, three foot wide jam. If Mal has to sacrifice the one in her pocket, she's going to pick one up and put it into the central holder. Ooh, I like that. Okay. Anything else you want to do as you hear them rushing down? I think someone should grab that shiny magical armor.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I've

SPEAKER_00:

got good armor, so I'm good. Is it light armor? Mithril?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it is. It is actually Mithril armor. Does that count as light armor? It's medium. We'll go with a chainmail Mithril armor. I could put on medium armor. Who's putting on? Am I putting it on? Hold on. Sure. Breathe fire? Did you just say breathe fire? You didn't say that out your mouth in the game, did you? You Kevin said that. No, Marcus, suddenly. And then what happened? So just so I understand you. You said breathe fire, correct? Okay. And you said it good and loud, correct? A clarifying note for listeners, the character Marcus has just said the answer to both of the other two riddle doors in the main chamber, breath and the letter E. So when you combine all three riddle answers, you get breathe, fire. So you hear the same door opening sound happening back in the tennis court. So the door opens and you hear this screaming sound. screeching sound and I also think you hear screams of the tabaxi who haven't made it into the fire door yet and are and are stuck out there maybe just one of them is stuck and maybe another couple you can see through or frozen just like like you were and the rest of them have made it into the corridor there but that thing comes around the outside and you can see out into that space where you had the fight that there is this massive dragon that hoves into view in that main chamber and it releases this gout of cold and it's shimmering silver scales flutter as this blast of cold coats one of the tabaxi and turns it completely to ice and it just crumbles to the ground and So Aki Arnel and his guards, five of them, are hiding in the holding space for the Nykaloth. Out in the main chamber, there are three of these tabaxi that are being ravaged by a young silver dragon. And you are in the treasure room stuffing purple triangular jewels into your pants.

UNKNOWN:

Music

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you. Our music is by Seiji,

SPEAKER_01:

Sun Umbra,

SPEAKER_00:

Gypsy

SPEAKER_01:

Vision, Gang

SPEAKER_00:

Colors, and

SPEAKER_01:

Turn Try.